Category: v msr angst Spoilers: sometime in the future, after the Truth Summary: Be careful what you wish for. Feedback is a good thing –Bigmomma88@hotmail.com If it goes, please let me know where it goes! In The Dusk Of The Setting Sun K. Smith In the dusk of the setting sun, particles of sand kicked up throughout the playing field. Silhouettes of parachuting dandelion seedlings and dragonflies danced with them around the small boys and girls running and practicing slides. The scent of a barbeque filled the air as its smoke danced upwards to mingle with the dust. "Hey batter...heyyy battah...swingggg battah!!! Looking beyond the chain link fence from the bleachers, Scully gave a slow smile at the beauty of it. Life outside of the damn car. Surely there was gossip and drama in the streets and homes they passed on the way to the park. Surely she, of all people, knew this. She was burdened with knowledge from far too many case files and miles of crossbreeding Peacocks, fluke men and fiji mermaids, amongst too many cannibals in so many idyllic little towns. For now, though, she found herself being slowly filled with the beauty and harmony that looked as it was for a scene of Roy Hobbs swinging in a movie. The bleachers squeaked as a larger woman to the left shifted her weight to accommodate the kids squirming next to her. Scully found herself nervously glancing from the bleachers to the small players in the field. Make those wannabe players. They were mostly little boys but with a healthy amount of little girls. All appeared to be no more than 7yrs to 8yrs old at most. Dads, soccer moms, brothers, sisters mingled in the bleachers, on the side and in the field, coaching them on. The squeaking bleachers brought back memories of being Young. Missy…Charlie…Bill…so many friends long gone. Warmth. "Miss, do you know the time, umm, move over Jeffrey...or when the main game starts?" The double chinned woman to the left twisted over the little boy seated next to her to ask the question. Scully paused, dipping her hat in front of her against the sunlight, but still trying to carefully look the woman in the eye. "Umm, I believe in 20 minutes." Pausing to swallow and look straight ahead, Scully continued. "I believe they do the little ones first…as a practice?" "Oh yes! That is where Jeffrey will be next year. Right Mister?" The double chinned woman nudged the small boy next to her as he squirmed, impatiently stamping his feet on the rung below. "Well, then there's time. Jenna, go now while I can watch you from here." Scully leaned back against the rails to make way for the two pre-teen girls to pass. "Jenna, wait hon. Would you like anything Miss?" Scully stayed in her leaned back position until she realized the question was posed to her. Startled but appreciative she gave a curt declining nod. "Oh, and Jenna? Don't dawdle with the boys in the parking lot. Stay where I can see you. And bring the dogs back while they're warm, `kay?" Scully smiled at the directness of the double chinned woman and the roll of eyes she couldn't see from the girls as they stepped down the bleachers. A thousand years ago, Missy would have snuck her to the parking lot. The uneasiness in her belly became warmed with memories and sensations she thought long gone. She pushed her sunglasses up with a finger, as she scanned the field. Big and small figures could be seen running and sliding, tossing and catching, pitching and hitting. "Remember! Don't throw the bat Danny. Just whatever you do, don't throw the bat. Drop it!" A small boy nodded, still swinging too low to hit. Scully's felt her entire being pause as if time had slowed, as she caught sight of Mulder's form leaning against the chain link fence. The sunlight had caught him perfectly, giving a gold outline to his form, casting his shadow towards the field. She watched him lean into the fence, one hand raised seeming to grasp the links with intensity. A small boy in a blue cap, no more than seven yrs old, had dropped his bat to switch positions. Scully nervously plucked the fabric of her jeans. Given a ball, the boy threw it into the sun with an awkward swing. It rolled slowly into Mulder's shadow. Scully felt her breath catch. Time had truly frozen. In the beauty of this setting sun, this perfect night, her mind raced. As her mind's eye focused, Mulder walked around the fence. The small boy waiting for the ball to be tossed back stared patiently. Scully's heart skipped as she stood in the bleachers. Mulder picked up the ball and slowly walked towards the boy. In the sunlight the boy peered up to Mulder, under his cap. Eight steps away Mulder paused, squatting down eye level. Giving the ball a slow easy throw, the boy caught it. He stared with a slow smile to the man bending down in front of him, as the others practiced on. Slowly the boy walked towards the man, falling into his embrace. Mulder rose, holding him into the sunlight, wordlessly looking towards Scully. "Ohgodohgodohgod...We can do this! Please God...Run!" Suddenly, the crack of a bat hitting a ball broke through Scully's daze. "Yeah Danny!! Run!" Pulling her sunglasses off, Scully watched the truth of the scene play out in front of her. In a few short strides a tall man stepped into Mulder's shadow, picking up the ball in one fluid motion. Turning and smiling, he chuckled, tossing the ball evenly to the small boy in the blue cap, who caught it, grinning with delight. "A little straighter with the wrist bud and don't stare into the sun!" The small boy nodded and grinned. He again aimed and threw the ball with all of his might. It landed and rolled into the dirt too soon, but did now travel straight to the tall man across from him. "Better! It all comes with practice son!" The older man smiled, giving an encouraging nod as he gave the ball an easy throw back to the boy, who again caught it, grinning. Glints of strawberry blond hair strayed from under his cap. Watching Mulder step back from the fence putting his arms around his waist, Scully felt a wave of nausea creep through her frame. She slowly put her head down, wrapping her arms around her legs. She was certain this was physical pain, just as if someone had stabbed her in the belly and twisted the knife through her core. Surely this was what it felt like? If this is what she felt…ohgodohgodohgod… surely Mulder felt it a thousand times more? She raised her head as the double chinned woman gave her a concerned look. "Hon, are you okay? Sometimes those dogs can go bad!" Scully nodded, trying to find her glasses, looking towards the woman with her small son Jeffrey still at her side. "No, I'm fi…" The words caught in her throat as her eyes welled with tears. Again she tried. "I'm…" Scully immediately got up, nodding to the startled woman. She attempted to step quickly down the bleachers, but was unable to speak or step evenly for fear her soul would burn to flame here, on the bleachers of a small baseball field in a godforsaken small idyllic town. ----------------------------------------------------------- Mulder clutched his sides, solemnly staring at the small boy learning to catch. There were no words. Slowly he turned, searching the bleachers. She wasn't there. She saw. They both knew. There truly were no words. Be careful what you wish for. There were so many aspects to that saying. Surely this was what they had wished for, wasn't it? Seemingly prayed for it, actually. They had gotten it. God, if it wasn't going to kill them both. He shook his head ruefully, still clutching his sides against the unbearable pain and swallowing the bile that had risen up his throat. He gazed one last time at the grinning boy still playing catch with……his dad. Dropping his head, he walked rapidly to the parking lot. She had to be there. Looking at his watch, he unconsciously nodded. Their window was closing. As he approached the car he saw her standing by the passenger side, head bowed over the roof, on her arm. Wordlessly, he opened the drivers' side, sliding in and opening her door. She also slid in, in the same position, saying nothing or unable to speak. Numbly they drove through the main street of the town, past the high school, the dairy queen, the freshly mowed lawns, a child walking a dog and another jumping through a sprinkler. As they drove up the exit ramp onto the express way, Mulder glanced at his watch. Their window was closing. He nervously pressed the gas pedal down. He heard Scully's breathing begin to even, but his pulse could not. As hours passed and state lines crossed, both watched the sky change from burnished orange to midnight blue, now back to a hazy white gold as the sun slowly rose ahead of them. They had watched it change this way a thousand times in a thousand rides, but never on a ride such as this. Although they had not spoken, he was certain Scully had not slept. There were no words. Glancing at his watch, he let out a small breath. "The window is closed. I think we're well enough away." He raised his hand to his forehead, leaning his elbow against the window as he drove. Scully did not respond. She was mirroring his position on the other side. Slowly, Mulder eased the car to the shoulder, slipping it to park with the engine running. Neither spoke. Both just stared ahead. "We got out of the damn car, huh, Mulder?" The edge to Scully's voice was obvious as she gave a bitter chuckle, slowly looking towards him. He slowly nodded; keeping eye contact with her for fear that if they broke it they would dissolve into molecules and atoms that could never be placed to form something whole again. He reached a hand towards her. She stared back, with tear filled swollen eyes matching his own. Taking her hand when she hesitated, he pulled her to him, burying each other in their arms, until tears and breathing intertwined. "How Mulder? How do we do this?…Oh God…Why did we do this?" The sob from Scully vibrated through Mulder's heart as he held her tighter. "The why was just answered to us, Scully." He couldn't help it, but his voice hitched with tears as he remembered the form of a grinning boy in a blue cap as he caught a ball. "I don't know how…We just have to live with why." His voice still breaking, he held her tightly, as a sob of his own convulsed him. After time passed and the sun fully rose, the car slowly eased forward. Back to a road, most certainly less traveled. ----------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for stopping by. Feedback is appreciated since this is a first time effort and I don't quite have a handle on my muse's feeding schedule yet! My muse this time insisted on reminding me that my adopted friends have all had loving and tender relationships with those they consider their real parents. No miraculous event or vision occurred to reunite them with their biological parents. The truth is the pain may really be for those who gave them up, and because they gave them up, these children were forever grateful.