Title: Burning Bright
Author: Patty S
Email: gotoars13@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Category: VA, Post-ep
Spoilers: Ascension, Travelers
Disclaimer: I don't own them.  'Nuff said.
Archive: YES to Ephemeral and Gossamer.  Anywhere else
please ask.
Feedback: Always appreciated.

Summary: "Giving into the nightmare is something I
cannot do."


~~~~~~~~~~~

Burning Bright
written by Patty S
 
I see her strapped to a table, in the middle of a room
filled with a light that is as cold as it is bright. 
Save for her and the stainless steel table she's on,
the room is empty.  It reminds me of an operating
room, but its bareness and sterility speak of
something much more cruel and sinister.  Her eyes are
closed, her face drained of color, and for a minute I
think she's dead.  

Suddenly, a flash, a terrifying whirring noise, and
her eyes snap open.  A drill descends from the
ceiling, drawing closer and closer to her unprotected
body with every spin.  I can see her eyes widen, I can
feel her fear, and suddenly I am more afraid than I've
ever been in my entire life.  Unable to move or even
cry out, she stares in terror at the oncoming
instrument of pain, her mouth open in a silent scream,
and all the while the drill draws closer…

"Scully!" The name escapes my mouth as a scream and I
sit bolt upright.  I turn, looking for her, but all I
can see is the darkness of my apartment.  She's not
here.  It was a dream.  No, a nightmare.  

I find myself gasping for breath and I put a hand to
my chest.  My shirt is soaked in sweat.  Beneath its
thin layer, my heart races at breakneck speed, its
momentum threatening to tear itself from its cavity. 
Save for the sound of my own ragged breathing and the
rush of blood in my ears, all is silent. 

"Scully." This time, her name comes as a whisper,
barely audible to my own ears.  I close my eyes,
trying to banish the nightmare and the feelings it
brings with it from my mind, feelings of fear, of
guilt, and of loss.  She's gone.

What I told Mrs. Scully is true: it's when you stop
having the dream and wake up that the real nightmare
begins.  The hopelessness, the grief of reality
becomes too much, and you start to lose control.  I
choke back a sob.  I've lost the one person I trust
completely.  My coworker.  My partner.  My friend. 
Arthur Dales once told me that when your partner dies
a part of you dies with him.  I pray to God that
Scully is NOT dead, that she's somewhere out there
still alive, yet there is an emptiness inside of me
now, a void that Scully filled with her stubbornness,
her fierce spirit, and her unyielding dedication to
the truth.  All of that which was Scully… gone now.

I blink back the tears that threaten to fall, and
angrily wipe away those that have already fallen. 
Giving into the nightmare is something that I cannot
do, something Scully would never even consider were
she in my place.  I can't give up looking for her.

~~~

A gentle wind tugs at my coat as I crest the top of
the hill.  The trees on the mountainside are enveloped
in a dark mist, but up here on the peak, my view of
the night sky is clear.  Here is where Scully was
taken.  I don't know whether it was aliens or the
government that abducted her, but the cold reality is
that she's no longer with me.  I reach up with my hand
and touch the small gold cross that hangs from my
neck.  

"When you find her, you give that to her," Mrs. Scully
said, handing me Scully's cross.  She made me promise
her that I would.  When she told me that, her
confidence that I would find her daughter only
increased my fear that I never would find Scully, or
that I would arrive too late to save her.  But now,
standing up here, holding this small cross and feeling
the cold metal between my fingers, Mrs. Scully's words
bring a sense of comfort to me, a knowledge that my
partner is alive.  

Still clutching the tiny reminder, my gaze turns to
the heavens.  The black canvas of the night sky is
filled with tiny pinpricks of light, each star burning
with its own enduring fire.  I suddenly feel very
small and insignificant as I gaze upon the infinite
expanse of the universe.  My grip tightens on Scully's
cross, and I close my eyes.  I may be no bigger than a
grain of sand on the shores of the universe, no more
important than a star in the heavens, but I control my
fate.  I can't give up looking, not when my heart
tells me she's alive.  

A breeze begins to blow from the north, causing the
leaves to rustle and the grass to whisper.  The cool
air sweeps across my face and I breathe deeply.  I
open my eyes and once more look up at the stars.  They
are still there, each one burning bright.


FIN

~~~~~~~~~

Author's Notes: Believe it or not, this one took me a
while to write (I'm a newbie author - this is my
second posting!), so I would love to hear what you
thought about it, good or bad.  Thank you!