TITLE: What the Night is For

AUTHOR: Synergy 

EMAIL ADDRESS: BlueMoonSol@aol.com

DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT:I love to have my work posted, 
so go ahead!! Just PLEASE let me know where and send
 a link, so I can come visit.

SPOILER WARNING: cancer arc, sort of

RATING:this is about as clean as you can get

SUMMARY: 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Popped into my head on a late night
drive home from work. No beta, so all mistakes are 
mine. Thanks to CindyET for the pointers and for giving
me the courage to post this!

DISCLAIMER: If they were mine I wouldn't be so broke.



What the Night is For
By: Synergy

  Have you ever driven around at night? Really late at 
night, like around 3 a.m.? It's interesting.

 I gave up on sleep a long time ago. It comes when it wants
to, but more often than not I find myself cruising around 
in some rental, my only company coming from the radio and
a half-empty cup of 7-11 coffee. 

 Tonight is one of those nights. I cruise slowly through 
the streets of suburbia, wondering about the people who 
live behind those blank windows. Every once in a while 
a dim light shines in someone's living room. I know what
 keeps me prowling the streets at all hours, but I wonder.

 I wonder what's keeping any other human awake at this 
ungodly hour. Maybe they're getting ready for work, maybe
it's some college kid pulling an all-nighter, maybe it's
a couple making love. Or maybe it's some lonely guy 
consoling himself over a fifth of Jack Daniels.

 I can realte to most of that.

   In a lot of these places Scully and I find ourselves,
the whole town shuts down by 11. By 3 there's not a soul
in sight. Tonight, I find myself stopping in the middle 
of a downtown street, watching the stoplights flash in time
to a Moby song. Knowing the only cop in town is sleeping in
his squad at the gas station around the corner, I climb out
of the car to perch on the hood of the car and just listen.

 And think about her.

 I know Scully is still awake. I know that since she was
diagnosed with cancer she's been afraid to sleep. Kind of
hard to float off to dreamland when you're afraid you won't
wake up. I know she's going to tip toe out to the porch of 
that piece of shit motel, knowing I'm not there to catch her
with the cigarettes she's been sneaking. I'm not supposed to
know they're the only thing that helps dull the constant ache
in her head. I'm wishing I could help dull the ache in 
her heart.

 One of so many things we don't talk about. 

 I know I could have asked her to come with me.... and maybe
we would have talked. But it seems we would rather pretend 
everything is fine. So we pretend she's not spending the 
night thinking about dying, and we pretend that I'm not 
spending the night with tears streaming down my 
face....wishing we could live like those people behind
the windows.

 Damn, it's getting cold out here.

 I get back in the car and drive towards the motel, wishing
the road would give me some answers. The concrete stays 
silent, but yet somehow echos the feeling in my heart. 
I don't know if I can do this without her.

 The sun should be up soon.

 Maybe Scully will want to watch the sunrise.

 Maybe that's a good place to start.

FINIS

 Author's Note: This one is for my mastos, for giving 
me the courage to share this, even if it isn't the best.
Mastos are the best!!