Sunnydale Wholesale Beauty Supply, Ch. 31 You are only coming through in waves. Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'. It was amazing that she went to school at all, amazing that this town even held school. Sheep, all of them, no wonder the hellmouth was here, they were all having picnics and worrying about the ants as the volcano was about to blow up under them. Nevertheless, there Sunny was, handing in her report that had been interrupted by a little death threat, and smoochies with not one, but two vampires, ladies and gentlemen. When even the evil soulless bastards said you needed therapy, it could be time. She got an congratulatory speech from the guidance counselor for Jack's plan for her to do her senior year in India. "It'll look great on your college applications," the counselor said, enthusiastically. Are you kidding? Sunny thought. Aloud, she said, "That's what my uncle thought." She went to history class and spent most of it staring in disbelief at Willow Rosenberg. Willow had been best friends with the Slayer, and she was sitting there, taking notes like staving off the apocalypse depended on it. Sunny was only kinda-sorta grounded. She had told Meena about Angelus getting the girl in the alley, and him knocking her out, and Brooks finding her and bringing her in, and Meena had told Jack. So things were kind of settled down, but Jack just didn't want her anywhere around demons. Walked to school that morning, along the pleasant downtown sidewalks and the suburban Craftsman houses to the high school, in the bright bright California sunlight, staring at all the other students heading in the same direction. Goths and geeks, nerds, jocks, cheerleaders----all of them worm food. Snicker-snack, and it wasn't just the frumious bandersnatch, unless Lewis Carroll had lived on a hellmouth, too. Which was a thought. At the lockers, one of Cordelia Chase's followers detached herself and came up to Sunny. It was the pretty, silly girl from the alley. Sunny flinched. "I wasn't sure you'd still be around," she said, "but you sounded like you knew what you were doing with that crazy guy. I'm Harmony Kendall. I just wanted to, you know, thank you." "Sure," Sunny said. "Just---that guy, he's---" She was a little dazed. It was really Sunny's fault that Angelus had grabbed Harmony, but Harmony must not have understood what he was yelling. "Buffy Summers' ex, and what a freakshow!" Harmony said. "How did you know how to distract him? Is he really scared of blood?" "Blood has an effect on him," Sunny said. "I found it out by accident. It's really not safe to go around down town at night. He didn't even want me, you know. He wanted someone else." She wanted to throw her books down, grab Harmony by the shoulders. Don't you know that you could have died? "Thanks, again," Harmony said, her pretty, silly face unusually serious. "Sure," Sunny said. At lunch, Cordelia stopped by Sunny, who was eating an apple and trying to finish her homework for last period. "Heard Harmony had a run-in with a big mean guy? Buffy's ex?" She dropped into a chair, and lowered her voice. "Was it Angelus?" "Yep," Sunny said. She kept her eyes on her book. "What did he want? 'Cause, there was all kind of weirdness here a couple of nights ago, with ghosts and everything, and wasps, and Angelus was here, too." "He gets around," Sunny said, finally looking up. "Is there a point here?" Cordelia was looking at the bar of sunlight lying across Sunny's book, and her hand, on the page. "Gosh, since you're not on fire , you're not a vampire, but you sure talk like you're on their side." "What kind of friend are you to Harmony, that she's wandering around and doesn't know a fucking vampire when one is about to break her neck? " Sunny said, still in a conversational tone. "I don't know, Sunny, but how come you're still running around?" "He says I taste funny," Sunny replied, expressionlessly. Cordelia shrugged. "Fine. If you want to be vamp bait, have fun. Just remember, the Slayer's the one who'll stake your undead butt." "I'll remember," Sunny said. Jack had said he wasn't punishing her. It was for her protection, since every time she went somewhere without him, she was in danger. So she could do anything she wanted at home, just don't go any where without him, or Meena. It felt like punishment. It felt like locking the stable door after the vampire had already bitten the horse. It made her claustrophobic. Sunnydale was small, but at least she'd been able to go next door----no, vampires; to the Rialto---no, vampires; outside in front of the shop----no, vampires. "The mall?" "Enclosed environment, underground parking, sewer access," Meena said sympathetically. It was the busy season, too, with the long light days and the demons crowding in as soon as it was dark. "He should never have let you go out with Brooks," Meena grumbled. "Too late now," Sunny said. "I'm all bitten. By the big bad wolf." "Yes, but, Sunny, Jack's trying to take care of you. He told Brooks to stay away." Like any of it mattered. Like that would help. "I don't care if I see Brooks any more." Like that was it. "Sunny," Meena began, but Sunny just shrugged and went back upstairs. She finally gave up on television and went up to the roof of the building. For the first time in her admittedly short life, she couldn't find anything to read. She wanted...she wanted... she didn't want to put a name to what she wanted, something dark and loathsome skittering away at the back of her mind, the boogeyman. She couldn't have him. She could never have him. He was Death in a human's skin. It was nice on the roof. She could lean on the parapet and see the route she and Buffy had run in the dark, a million zillion years ago. If Buffy had let her die, there in the mystic dimension, would it have killed her? Would she have just keeled over, in the blink of an eye, in this dimension? Sunny swung her legs up and sat on the edge of the roof, looking at the street four stories below her shoes. She knew she didn't care, because she didn't have that gaspy feeling she had gotten during the roof run. Her head didn't swim with vertigo, and her palms didn't prickle with fear. Vampire games. "Tell him that if he kills you, your death will restore his soul." She must have been a shit in her previous existence. Wonder if the next one would be better, she thought, standing up on the parapet. Had to be. She took a breath and stepped off. Now I got that feeling once again. I can't explain, you would not understand. This is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb.